Living life through Covid-19

soo I sure did not see any of this coming, when we started this year I was so excited and hopeful about what this year was going to hold, little did we all know what 2020 would hold for us. 

I was excited about going to as many church camps as I could before I started school this year,  and just actually taking time to stop and do stuff that I've put off. But God had another plan and that's OK.

if I've learned anything in my walk with God its that what his will is, doesn't always look like what we think it should. And No God didn't cause covid-19 to happen but he's working it out for his good. I don't understand why this happened, and why Kelsey and I have had to stay home from work, or why I've watched my parents struggle so bad physically. but one thing I had to take hold of is that God is not surprised by all this. Covid-19, the protests and unrest did not just sneak up on him. he knew this would happen and he's using it to carry out his will in all this.

psalm  56:3 says:

'when I am afraid, I will trust in you." HCSB version

There has been so many nights the devil has come at me with the fear of getting this virus, or the fear of losing one (or both my parents). the fear of losing my job (one of the major incomes in our family). the fear of... and you could keep listing them. The devil likes to whisper all the "what ifs" in your ear, especially in the middle of the night when you are feeling the weight and pressure of the world on your shoulders. But I had to finally come to the conclusion that you know what God, I'm still going to trust you. 

I get the virus, I'm going to trust you to heal me from it.

I loose my parents, as hard as it would be God I still trust you to carry me through it.

I loose my job, God you brought me that one and I trust that you can bring me another one, and provide for our needs.

I can't go to church, God I trust that you can meet me at home.

I loose some friendships, God I trust you because you are truly the only friend I need.

I never get to go to school to get my bachelors degree, God I trust you have a different path for me.

It all comes down to, God I'm afraid, But I still trust you. 

That's what God has been teaching me the last couple months.

And I don't say this lightly, this is a lesson I've had to go through with God. I had to mentally go through each thing with Him and say from my heart, God here's what what I want, But I still trust you even if that might not happen.

I'm so thankful that God is patient with us and He will work with us and guide us. that's what walking with God is all about. 

if your still reading this after all that, thanks for reading my ramblings. I haven't been posting much but I'm hoping that will change,  I have some time now on my hands. =)

Here's a song by Lauren Daigle that I love, and has gotten me through some dark nights.